


EWWWWWWWWW!

by hanarobi



Category: Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-16
Updated: 2010-01-16
Packaged: 2017-10-06 08:56:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/51895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hanarobi/pseuds/hanarobi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Elijah says EWWWWWWWWW an awful lot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	EWWWWWWWWW!

Viggo stooped down to slide his arms gently under Elijah's hips. "Grasp my neck, little one" he said soothingly to the wounded boy. Elijah fought through his pain, wrapping thin, pale arms around the neck of his protector. His savior. His lover. With a care belying his rugged appearance, Viggo slowly lifted Elijah. Still, a ragged scream tore through the clenched jaw of the fragile, younger man. The pain overpowered him and he fell limp in Viggo's arms. Distressed at causing the one he loved even more pain after all he had been through at the hands of that sick and evil soul, Viggo was nevertheless glad that Elijah was unconsciousness, for whatever little while the respite would last. "Hold on, little ring bearer," he whispered, pausing only to plant a quick kiss on the sweat soaked forehead of his beloved before beginning their dangerous escape.

"EWWWWWWWW. EWWWWWWW. GROSSSS!!!"

"Elijah?" Dom's voice called from the kitchen, just a hint of irritation in it.

"What?" His eyes were still glued to the screen. "Ewww, ewwww, ewwww."

"For the last time, Elijah, Stop. Reading. Slash."

"But I just got called `little ring bearer'." There was a definite whine going on by this point.

"So what? Frodo *is* little and he *is* the ring bearer."

"No, Dom, not Frodo. Me. They called me the little ring bearer."

"You're not little, Lij. You're pretty much the same size I am."

Oh, now there's a quandary. Point out that Dom is short and you tar yourself with the same brush. But pass up such an obvious opening? Nope, no way that is going to happen.

"Ah, Dom, that's not really much comfort, you know."

"Cunt."

"And Viggo is kissing me, while I'm unconscious!"

"I always suspected him as a letch."

"No, not like that. He's saving me. I passed out from the pain."

"Lij, turn off the computer!"

"Before I know if I make it out of the dungeons? No way."

"Trust me, you'll make it out." A pause. "Dungeons? What the fuck, Lighe?"

"Apparently I have been kidnapped by someone who is lusting after my peachy ass."

"You don't have a peachy ass. Trust me on this one as well."

"Nonsense. It said precisely that just a couple of chapters ago, and I quote, `Bruno knew, in some part of his diseased mind that what he was doing was wrong, but his lust for the Hollywood star's peachy ass drove all thought of restraint into the darkness of his soul'."

"You're not a Hollywood star, either."

"Am too."

"Are not."

"Wanker."

"Neither are you British, so cut that out."

"Asswipe."

"Ah, there's my boy."

And with that, a relative quiet descended. Dom continued to cook and Elijah continued to read. Until…

"EWWWWWWW!"

"For fuck's sake, Lij, just log off, will you? Besides, dinner's ready."

Happily abandoning his peachy ass to face its perils alone, Elijah returned to real life and went to join Dom in the kitchen.

 

Several hours later, in the dark stillness of their bedroom….

"Dom?"

No answer.

"Dom!"

"huhmggm?"

"You really don't think my ass is peachy?"

 

The next day Elijah Wood had a rather tender and undecidedly unpeachy bruise on his butt. This often happens when your lover kicks you out of bed.


End file.
